Serendipity

Monday, December 26, 2005

Just sharing some pics.

I am hardly in the mood to post a long entry today. Feeling rather blah. I miss my kids and find myself completely bored out of my mind without them here. Yeah, crazy huh?

I will post the pics first and come back later when I feel up to explaining my Christmas happenings.



Everyone wanted to see my new "do"......

The last picture is one that I took of myself. I played around with it and I think I will print and frame it for the hub as a gift since we had no money this year to give eachother gifts. The second one is a scary one of me without my "face" on. LOL

I will be back when I get a second wind.

::sigh::

Too many chocolate martinis this weekend. :0)

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 3:08 PM :: 16 Comments:

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Thursday, December 22, 2005

I think I am going insane.

Honestly, I think I am crazy.

I am on some kind of emotional rollercoaster. I am a mess. One minute I am ok and the next minute I am sobbing uncontrollably. It doesn't take much. Really. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I am just sad. Sad for all the things I have done wrong. Sad for all the times I was disrespectful to my family when I was younger. Sad for all that I have missed. Sad for the way things have to be now in my life. Sad that I can't go back. Sad that it's too late. Sad that I am growing up and getting old. Sad that I can't give my kids more. Sad that sometimes I hate my kids. Sad that I am a mess. Sad that my mom is getting old. Sad that she is sick. Sad that I can't just pick up and go to her. Sad that money is the root of all evil. Sad that I miss my family. Sad that I have family I have never met. Sad that my family will be without me another year. I am just sad. I can't help it. I try so hard to hide it. I try so hard to be happy. I try. I try. I try.

I just can't shake it off.

I put a song on this journal. If you scroll down to the bottom of this page and forward to the second song you will hear it. The first time I heard it I broke down in tears. I don't know what it is about this song but it damn near kills me everytime I hear it. It reminds me of things to come. It reminds me of my Grandpa. It reminds me of how it was when he died. I had moved away and the day I got the call. It reminds me of the person he was. It reminds me of all of my mistakes. It reminds me of church and his faith. It reminds me that the older I get the more I understand and don't understand. It reminds me that I, too, should believe that there is more waiting for me and some day I will see him again. The older I get, the more I run to my roots and my upbringing in the church and try so hard to have what I had so long ago. Back then I failed to see what I had and how there are some things you can never take back. There are things that as a child you fail to see how much they mean to you until you are much older and they are gone.

This has to be one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard.

Here are the words and scroll down to hear it while you read the words.

Believe~ Brooks & Dunn
Old man Wrigley lived in that white houseDown the street where i grew upMomma used to send me over with things

We struck a freindship upI spent a few long summers out on his old porch swingSays he was in the war when in the navyLost his wife, lost his baby

Broke down and asked him one timeHow ya keep from going crazyHe said I'll see my wife and son in just a little whileI asked him what he meantHe looked at me and smiled, said

(Chorus)I raise my hands, bow my headI'm finding more and more truth in the words written in redThey tell me that there's more to life than just what i can seeOh i believe

Few years later i was off at college Talkin' to mom on the phone one nightGetting all caught up on the gossipThe ins and outs of the small town lifeShe said oh by the way son, old man Wrigley's died.Later on that night, i laid there thinkin' backThought 'bout a couple long-lost summersI didn't know whether to cry or laughIf there was ever anybody deserved a ticket to the other sideIt'd be that sweet old man who looked me in the eye, said

(Chorus)I raise my hands, bow my headI'm finding more and more truth in the words written in redThey tell me that there's more to life than just what i can see
I can't quote the bookThe chapter or the verseYou can't tell me it all endsIn a slow ride in a hearseYou know I'm more and more convincedThe longer that i liveYeah, this can't beNo, this can't beNo, this can't be all there is

(Chorus)When I raise my hands, bow my headI'm finding more and more truth in the words written in redThey tell me that there's more to life than just what i can seeI believeOh,

II believe
I believe
I believe
I believe
I believe

I was just checking on my formatting for my last entry and this song started to play and I just lost it. What the hell is wrong with me? This was no ordinary "lost it". This was all out sobbing, face in hands, heart wrenching sobbing.

I think I have officially lost it.

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 11:05 AM :: 9 Comments:

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Has it been 6 days already?



Wow. 6 days with somewhat peace and quiet! Has it really been 6 days already? Sheesh.

Liam is leaving today on the train to San Francisco to spend Christmas with his Dad and his side of the family. That means after today I have one week with NO kids! Oh there is a God in heaven! I so needed this break. Trust me. The day they were leavingI was beyond stressed out and everytime the kids did something bad I found myself humped over on the toilet crying my eyes out. They were driving me apeshit. I hate the week before XMAS. They forget who Santa is and what a lump of coal is. I reminded them every 5 minutes what it would be like to have coal under the tree. Do you think they gave a damn? Nope. They were honery little shits anyway.

So, back to the 7 more days of peace on earth.......

**sigh**

Believe it or not, I have been shamelessly bored! Who woulda thunk it? LOL Sometimes I scare myself. It has been nice though. I better enjoy it while I can because come the 30th Demon boy (AKA Brody) will be back along with Sarah & Justin. Then, it will be on I am sure. They will have spent 2 weeks with their other parents and trust me when I say "it ain't gonna be pretty" when they get back. 2 weeks of drinking nothing but caffeine and eating nothing but loads and loads of candy and cookies. They will have had no rules or chores, not even a bedtime for chris'sake. I can hardly wait. But then, that is why God created beer. Lots of it too! Santa better bring me atleast 2 cases of the finest beer ever made. If not, he is fired. Fat jackass anyway. He owes me.

So, here I sit..on my ass....doing nothing....a war is going on inside of my body....battle of the wills....clean house vs. not cleaning house.

Which do you think will prevail?

LMAO.....gee I wonder?



Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 10:21 AM :: 2 Comments:

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Ummm...I dunno

Feeling a bit out of it today. 3 o'clock and still in my jammies.

I don't feel like baking cookies anymore. Don't feel much like cleaning or straightening. Don't wanna get up and shower. Can't see myself listening to Christmas music. Shudder at the thought of actually taking a shower.

Not feeling up to much today.

Been thinking. A lot. Today's thoughts have drifted to past holidays as a child. I sure miss the simple things we take for granted as a child. Things such as....decorating the tree with the folks, the smell of grandma's baking, caroling with the kids at school, old movie projectors operated by grandpa, the anticipation of opening gifts, warm feelings and hugs from the ones you love. Most of my day has been spent lying in bed remembering the good old days. Scene after scene played out in my head. I always thought that when I got older I, too, would be sharing in the hustle and bustle of making the season shine. I always thought I would be busy making pies and cookies with my grandma and my kids. Thing is, I can't bake worth a shit and have noone to teach me or share it with. My family is 2000 miles away and I hate it that I can't be with them. Even if I were there, it would/could never be the same. Since the death of my Grandpa everyone does their own thing. Since the death of my maternal grandmother, noone gets together all in one house. Things change. I hate change. I want one comforting thing I can hold on to and look forward to every year. I want to come together as a family and remember all the good that we have experienced as a family during the year. I want hugs and kisses, laughter and togetherness. I feel alone. I don't feel a part of anything anymore. This is what happens when you move away. Though I never made the decision to move away from my family, I still feel the guilt of missing out. There just isn't anything I wouldn't do to be at my grandma's house baking with her. What I wouldn't give to be wrapping presents with my mom sharing a chocolate martini or two like tradition dictates. So many I wish I coulds. So many regrets. So many family members gone. So many I love you's that I never said. My mom gets to go home for the holidays this year and I find myself longing with all of my heart to go along with her. I know it sounds crazy. This holiday season doesn't feel like home to me. I keep thinking that what if next year my mom isn't here? What if I lose a child? What if something happens to my only remaining grandparent? What if I never spend another holiday with my family together as a whole? Life is so short. It scares me sometimes when I think about all the time I have missed doing something special for someone I love. Maybe it's the fear of my own immortality. The older I get, the more scared I become. The craziest thing to me is that so much of what I miss is simply missed because of a lack of money. There are times in my life when I think to myself that I will do anything to have enough money to do the things that are important to me. Like holding my grandmother's hand in mine just one more time. Or, for instance, making homemade pigs in the blanket on Christmas Eve with my mother just one more time. Money. It always boils down to money. Money is evil. It make me think about doing bad things to get it so I can have what we need. MOney. Something so simple. A simple piece of paper can destroy a life. It can bring out the worst in people. I try so hard to not be materialistic. MOst of what makes me happy has nothing to do with money. It's unfortunate though that what I need the most can only be had by making money. Asswipe, toothpaste, food, shoes, clothes, roof over my head, all the above are things we need. I cannot provide for my family the things it needs without taking away from my family by working crazy hours and never seeing my kids or my husband. If I were to give up all of those things I just maybe, maybe, could save up the money to fly or drive home for the holidays. It all ties into eachother.

Sorry about that little rant. I was just thinking about how much people take for granted this time of year. Some people waste thousands of dollars on selfish little brat kids while people like me are worried about how they will provide food for their family the week after Christmas. All this and there are idiots out there who are more concerned with offending some foreigner with saying Merry Christmas! What has this world come to anyway? We have bigger things to worry about. I say Christmas, you say whatever. We all have a holiday to celebrate should it matter which one we chose to celebrate? Our country was founded on Christianity. Deal with it. This is my country. This is what we believe in. Why should I change that? I respect all faiths. I do not ask other people to not celebrate their faith or their holidays. Truth is, for the most part we are all celebrating the same thing just with a twist. It's all the same. If someone came up to me and was all like HappY Kawanza (sp) I wouldn't be offended. I would probably embrace their faith and ask about it so I could learn about it. Merry Christmas Damn It. Happy Holidays. Whatever. Just enjoy this life we have, spend time with the ones you love, be thinkful our creator (whoever he is or whatever you call him) created us. Just eat, drink, be merry, and forget all the other stuff. Life is short.

Merry Christmas,
Stacy

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 3:02 PM :: 8 Comments:

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Monday, December 19, 2005

I would gladly take snow...



...Over the freezing rain and sleet we have today and for the rest of the week!

Well, with the weather and what not I am housebound today. Yay me. I needed to get to the bank today so that our checks don't bounce. However, the bank will have to wait. This girl is not driving in freezing rain on top of packed snow. Nope. No thank you.



Instead, Liam and I are going to start baking some cookies here in just a minute or two. We are baking chocolate chip, thumbprint, and sugar cookies with icing. I can't find any of my cutters so the snowman one I just got will have to do. We decorated a gingerbread house yesterday. Liam was in heaven without all the other 4 kids here to get my attention. He is loving that we get to do all of this , alone, and together. I must admit to enjoying it too. My nerves have started to settle down. I am feeling a bit better now that the PMS bitch has left the building. Oh how I hate that woman!

Today has been a bit of a downer for me. I refuse to stop listening to Christmas music. I refuse to allow myself to be down and sad. Problem is...the music depresses me. I took a shower and was looking for a hair clip when I found it. I found the bottle of perfume that my mom wears. I put it on and started to cry. She has worn Opium body oil for years. I smell like her and it makes me miss her. I spoke with her earlier. She was on her way to the hospital. She is having a surgery today. They are doing a colonoscopy and the other one where they go down your esphogus. She has polyps for sure in her espohogus but may have them elsewhere. Once in there, they will cut them out and take them for cancer testing. I am worried to say the very least. I hope and pray that it is not cancer. We have been down this road before with her esphogus and breasts. All three times they were benign. After the heart scare and getting off with the pacemaker I worry that this time she won't be so lucky. Time will tell and until then, I will be praying for her.

Well, my sweet little man is here singing Santa Baby and dancing...wants to bake them cookies. I love you guys but who am I to disappoint my little Boo?

Catch ya later....

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 1:21 PM :: 7 Comments:

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Sunday, December 18, 2005




Taken December 17th, 2005
Downtown Bend on the Deschutes River at Drake Park.

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 9:14 PM :: 3 Comments:

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Saturday, December 17, 2005

Bleep Bleep Bleep....snow again?

























So yeah, it's freaking
snowing again.
Guess what?
I don't have to driiive! LOL. Yay for me.








I woke up this morning to a full stuffy nose, a cough that is a bit too close to bronchitis feeling for me, and the cramps from hell. Never effing fails....no kids=red. Oh crimmony. When will this madness ever end? Just think, there is Christmas, with no kids. Too bad I don't have a bear skin rug and a fire place. I wanna be my hubs Ho ho ho.... for Christmas! *wink*


Ahhhhh, we are almost done shopping. All we need now is the stocking stuffers and we are officially D. O. N. E.! Halle'effin'lujah! I am not feeling very spirity right now. Oh I know, I will march into the kitchen and make myself a really strong schnapps and cocoa! That'll fix me right up and give me a much needed attitude adjustment since my hubby can't!

School break started yesterday and I sooo am happy to not have to get up early to get these kids ready for school for the next almost 3 weeks! The school called me yesterday to tell me that a group of Marines came to the school for the Toys for Tots drive and they had a large box full of stuff for our family. Rumor had it that I lost my job. The kindness of strangers new ceases to amaze me. That was an amazing feeling. My other 2 step kids left last night so I made a point of taking some pics. Some of them turned out really cute!

I got my hair cut yesterday for the first time in almost a year! I think I like the cut but I need to wash it before I show it to ya'll. I have layers everywhere now. I am not even sure if I can duplicate what my guy did to me. LOL. Oh well. We have some errands to run so I better get to it.




DJ just made me some homemade french toast with butter pecan syrup. YUmmmmmy. That man has this way of melting me....which is a good thing considering it's been in the negative digits here. Right now it is only like 10 degrees. Well, shit just doesn't do itself so I better go for now...

Ciao,
Stacy



Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 10:45 AM :: 7 Comments:

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Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 12:40 AM :: 4 Comments:

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

Damn kids!

Kids.

I swear they will be the death of me and they aren't even in highschool yet.

I got a call from the school principle yesterday afternoon. Grrrrrrr.......

Jacob is going to be my trouble maker I can see it already.


** sigh**

He is in in-school suspension today for punching a kid in the face yesterday. Seems that some psycho punk at school was spitting all over people and my son decided to spit on him in the other kids defense. Intentions were right but not a good decision either way. The kid went all wang chung on everyone and when Jake tried to walk away the kid was going to spit on him, so Jake knocked the shit out of him to keep him from spitting on him. That's my boy....always sticks up for the underdog. I don't blame him for doing it and even his principle agreed that if it were him he would have wanted to do it too. However, my son has got to learn to keep his hands to himself and violence is never the answer. Unless, of course, he is defending his little sisters honor. Then he has my permission to kick the shit out of some kid. LOL

So, Jake spent the entire evening in his room last night "thinking" about other ways to solve disputes. He never "got" it so to speak. He still sees nothing wrong with what he did.

**** sigh*****

What do I do to make him see that he could really hurt someone and besides, he is the one who will get into trouble at school. I keep telling him to be the bigger man and walk away. I told him that by spitting on him he was allowing himself to look like a bigger retard than the psycho punk kid.

Is this what I have to look forward to with 4 boys?

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 11:39 AM :: 9 Comments:

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Tis' the season....



I made that tag last night from a picture I took in our living room of our tree....

So......seems that I have all this time on my hands all of a sudden Oh what to do, what to dooooo! I finally got around to decorating the tree! LMAO. Too bad this year our tree is sooo big that we ran out of silver beads so off to Wal-Mart I go this weekend to remedy that. I am still fairly irked about the whole job loss thangy ma-bob. Sure puts a cramp in the shopping end of the holiday ehhhh? Here I thought this year we would be able to have a nice Christmas and not kill ourselves with work and worry about buying 5 kids gifts. *sigh*. Not the case. Oh well what can we do? Absolutely nothing.

I am not real happy with the way our pics turned out but thats only because I was sicker than a dog and had a fever while taking them. I passed the chore off to the hub and he wanted to take a pic of me! Ahhh hell no! I was looking like that slut bag Medusa with snakes hissing and I was acting like her too! Ah tis' the season to be jolly.... again *heavy sigh*.

Well here are some of those pictures...I just think our livingroom looks so pretty with that damn $40 tree. It fuckin' better for that amount. Personally I think it should have been flocked in gold for Chris'sake!

























And the tree all done.........




TA-DAAAAA!

Okay, I have waaaaaay too much time on my hands!

Ciao!


Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 9:22 AM :: 13 Comments:

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Worth a post?

Image hosted by Photobucket.comWell well well...tis the season. I must say I love certain peoples holiday cheer. Some of you already know what I am about to talk about but I am going to post it anyway because, well, I think it is worth the post. If you don't agree oh well sucks to be you. I am in a foul mood right now and I just may blow out some green snot all over your pretty little blouse.

As you all very well know I have been very sick. I was right when I said my boss didn't sound too happy yesterday. But, whadda ya gonna do? I am sick and I could have came in today unable to hear out of my left ear, fever and all, to spread the good "cheer" all over their lame asses but....I'm courteous like that and stayed home with my other 2 kids who are sicker than me!

What do you think I got today?

If you guessed the boot then you guessed right. Stick around and the Grinch will give you a prize...

Can you say PISSED OFF? Well I can too and I also can say a lot of other nasty four letter words right now!
Like saaaaaaayyy....Image hosted by Photobucket.com you stupid bitch! I am sick for fucks sake! I shoulda went in today and sneezed all over her nasty Grinch ass!

She's all "I know you are sick and you can't help that but we are really busy this week and we needed you"....

Did I or did I NOT say yesterday that if they didn't mind me being there cold and all I would have gladly come in...but noooooooo....she said stay home! OOOOOOOooooooooo I am soooo mad right now.


Image hosted by Photobucket.com So, the moral of the story...forget being courteous, being mindful, giving a flying fuck, because in the end......you are only fucking yourself!

Hmmmmmph!

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 12:28 PM :: 11 Comments:

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Monday, December 12, 2005

It's officially cold season here at my house


YUp....official. I got the crud and I got it baaaaad. I hate this shit. Runny nose, stuffy nose, itchy ears and throat, body aches, swollen glands...yup cold season is here. I didn't sleep most of the night because of the body aches and because every time I woke up there was snot running out of my nose. Somebody get me a saw...gonna cut my nose off. I called my work this morning to tell them that I was planning on coming in but that I had a cold. Working in a Doctor's office means being around some older people and people who are homeopathically "well"so I wondered if they would want me there since I could possibly spread the "bug". I just thought they should know so that if they didn't want me there they had the choice of telling me to stay home and saving me the "Ewwww....why are you here with that shit, go home!"? I was right, she said stay home. She didn't however sound too happy about it. Last week I had stomach flu and missed a day. I told her I was totally cool with coming in today though inside I was saying "hell no I want to crawl back into bed" and she didn't sound too happy about it. I was just trying to be courteous to those around me. I would have gladly come in today seeing as how if I don't work tomorrow we will not be able to afford the Christmas gifts that are almost paid off in Layaway. I felt bad when I hung up but whadda ya gonna do?

Well, I am going to jump back in bed and sleep for the next hour before the kids get home from school. Lord knows I can't get any peace and quiet when they are home. I never did finish the tree yesterday and I promised to finish it tonight but I feel like shit. Maybe Daddy can do something for once and let me sleep... ::sigh::

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 3:30 PM :: 5 Comments:

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Sunday, December 11, 2005

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas


Wow. What a blur this weekend has been. Since all of our kids will be gone at their other parents for Christmas this year, we decided to have our Christmas festivities this weekend. Brody is already with his mom and the other two, Saran & Justin, will be leaving on Friday the 16th until they all come back on the 30th. After their returns, we will have our Christmas. All arrangements with Santa have been made. I think it will be sorta nice to ring in the New Year & celebrate Christmas with all of our kids at the same time. We worked on holidayfying the house yesterday by putting up the lights and decorating the inside of the house as well as getting a tree. We made our way to Wal-Mart to get some hot chocolate and candy canes. Following of course, was the trip to the "licker"store for peppermint schnapps.... I just had to add a little sumptin sumptin to my cocoa! ::grinning:: We got the most beautiful tree I have had in a long time. With our vaulted ceilings we were able to get an almost 9 foot tree. OMG how nice our house smells right now. This tree is a beauty. Well, to me it is anyways.....


I haven't gotten any further than the lights on it though. I am such a lazy ass today. Our intentions were to decorate, put up the tree, do outside lights, and watch the movie "Elf" while drinking hot chocolate. We did the outside lights, got the tree, decorated the inside of the house, and got the lights on the tree but that was it. I was tired. While we waited to leave to get the tree I managed to get a good pic of the kids... There is still lots of snow on the ground but none in the forecast for the next week. Like I said before, that's typical for here. Snows like a mo-fo for weeks and then nothing for Christmas. Irritates the shit out of me. I love a snowy white Christmas. We listened to Christmas music all night last night. I love the music but it sure can make me weepy. There are 2 songs that just make me cry everytime I hear them. The very first being Ave Maria sung by Andrea Bocelli (sp?). That song invokes such emotion in me. I can remember being at midnight mass with my Grandpa as a child on Christmas Eve. It's the whole Catholic upbringing thing. God, how I miss my family right now. If I could have any present in the world this Christmas it would be to be home in Illinois for the holiday.

I talked to my mom yesterday and found out my mom's family is paying her way to come home for the holiday. What I wouldn't give. I honestly cannot remember the last time I was home for Christmas. It has been atleast 10 years. I miss them so much. My other favorite song that makes me bawl like a baby is "I'll Be Home For Christmas" by Bing. It just makes me miss my family so much. This year all of our kids will be gone and it just be my hub and I. We could drive to the valley and spend it with his Dad or my Dad (which would mean spending it with my step monster). Neither choice does anything for me. I have only spent maybe 3 Christmas's with my Dad. It just isn't real festive there. My step mom sees to that. I hate going to DJ's Dad's house too. It just doesn't feel like home to me. I can't explain it. We have nowhere else to spend the holiday so this one is going to be hard on me. I miss cooking with my Grandma and all of the other stuff we did when I was growing up. I have been super bitchy this week and I think this is why. I am not used to not having friends and family to spend the holidays with. Besides, even if we wanted to go to the valley we can't afford the gas money. I suppose I will just cook us a dinner and we will sit at home.




Lastnight as my hub was fixing lights, Sarah climbed up in my lap and I sang Christmas songs to her and she feel asleep cuddled up to me. It was just too damn sweet. She loves it when I sing to her and she really loves it when I stroke her face. Puts her to sleep every time. My hub snagged a shot. I was chillin' with my drink in one hand and her in the other. I love it when she snuggles with me.










We had to do some serious furniture moving to make that tree fit! It never ceases to amaze me what we do to decorate our houses for the holidays! I keep having to do more each year as my snowman collection grows! LOL. I can't help it, I love snowflakes and snowmen. Next year if I can afford it I am going to do my entire tree in snowmen, icicles, and snowflakes. I think I may even flock the tree as well.















I love that big snowman. DJ bought it for me last year. This year we don't have the money to buy anything new. Hopefully, after the holiday I can get some ornaments and such at low low prices for next year. We will see....















The little town I used to have broke so all I have left are some of the trees and people. I still put them out every year anyways. It sure is looking Christmasy here at our house. I even put up the little train set we have and I will be putting it under the tree for the cats to destroy!














I got started on the stockings and realized that some of our stockings go the wrong way LMAO. I took them down and turned them around and re-did the glitter names. Did wonders for the arthritis in my hand. Oh well I really love doing that for my kids. That pic>>>>>is missing 3 stockings. They are now dry and up. Decorating this house has actually been kind of fun for me. I am trying to stay in the spirit this year but it is proving to be hard.








Remember the steaks I talked about earlier from The Cowboy Dinner Tree? <<<<<< Big huh???? That was our last one!











Well, I have bored you enough with my drivel. I don't know exactly what is wrong with me but I am going thru some kind of journaling funk. What I do know is that I am really missing J-Land and the interaction I had with all of my regular readers. I miss it. I am trying to feel at home here but it is hard without "all" of my family here. I rarely even post in my photo-j because I hardly get any visitors there. I dunno....it's weird. I guess I never realized just how much I did love the comments and interaction. I read other peoples journals a lot. I just haven't had the time to make comments. I am just in a funk and I think a lot of it has to do with me missing a lot of my old readers who didn't follow me here for whatever reasons. I don't feel at home here. I wish AOL wouldn't have done what they did. Pisses me off. I could give in and re-open my old journals but I just can't compromise my ethical and moral standing on this subject. It makes me sick to my stomach everytime I contemplate it. I just can't and I simply won't. Still makes me so sad though. I do however have some new readers here that I never had there and to them I want to say....Thank You for coming here and visiting. I do and will continue to read you. I may not always comment but I am reading. I will try to get around to everyone's journals next week when I am not working.

Well, that damn tree ain't gonna decorate itself so I better get off my fat arse and get to it. I took a really cute shot of my Princess Fuzz cat lastnight playing with the lights..check it out if you want at Behind These Brown Eyes ( my photo-j). The address is in my last entry.

Ciao,
Stacy

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 12:20 PM :: 12 Comments:

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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Lil' bit 'o' this and a lil' bit 'o' that........



It's snowing again. I am tired of the white shit for fucks sake. When will it ever end? Oh wait, don't answer that. I already know the answer. It will end before Christmas so we don't have a white Christmas and when the kids have new snow boots and snow suits. It always happens here in Central Oregon. Always. Hmmmph..... The kids have no school today so they are playing out there in that crap. It's freaking cold here this week. Teens to single digits at night and today not even above freezing. I think the warmest we will hit this week will be 35 degrees. Colder than a witches titty. We had another round of freezing fog roll in last night too. Made for some slick roads too. I have been battling stomach flu for days now. I am sorry I haven't been commenting in anyone's journals lately but I just haven't been here or have been in bed or in the lou. I hate cold season...sucks I tell ya. I added some pics to my photo journal today. I wish I knew how to add a link here that says the name of the journal and not the http address....can someone enlighten me? Here is the link and when I can figure out how to put links in my sidebar I will. I am HTML challenged. So bear with me...... http://djzgirl2.blogspot.com/

My youngest son is with his mom this entire month and I am enjoying the peace and quiet. I have so much to say about him but not enough energy. I know that when he left this last time I was more than ready for him to go. I think I have finally hit that point where I am just done. Nobody else seems to think it is my responsibility to find help for him and I am burnt out trying to do so. Either that, or, they are all still in denial. I just know I cannot continue to carry this burden on my shoulders anymore. Something has to give and soon.

My mom is doing well. She was having some severe chest pains but that ended up being really bad anxiety attacks. The pacemaker is doing it's job though. This is really tough on her and I worry about her daily. Things will work out as they are meant to so I am hopeful this will slow her down and make her take care of herself better.

Well, I feel that familiar gurgling in my tummy so I better scram and quick like....sometimes I just can't make it to the lou in time ya know?

Ciao for now.....

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 2:26 PM :: 10 Comments:

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Monday, December 05, 2005

Caution: Boring Up Ahead!


The snow has finally stopped here in Central Oregon. I hope. It snowed almost every day last week and into the weekend. We had winter storm warnings in effect for days on end. But, the sun is shining now and I can drive again. The temps have been in the teens and single digits so this snow on the ground most likely won't be going anywhere anytime soon. Fine by me I say as long as it stays off the roads! We totaled about $350 in damages to our car. Good thing is that the one thing that costs the most is purely cosmetic so we are going to wait on that.



There is the damage I caused>>>>>>>>>

That little crack there will cost us over $200 to fix. Atleast the damages are within reason and doable. I could have totaled it and would up in the hospital and all that junk. I feel lucky.







Friday was my little boo, Liam's, 7th birthday. Poor little guy ended up spending a good portion of his day puking his guts out. I felt so bad for him. Of course I felt sorry for myself as well! I had to clean that shit up! I am soooo not a pukey kinda person. Oooo....eeeeeeewwwwwww. Yucky. We took him out for pizza the night before and they played in the little playroom thingy they had there. They had a blast!


It was nice having them run themselves ragged there and pass out cold when they got home! I love indoor play structures!







I can't believe he is 7 already. Seems like only yesterday I was holding him in my arms rocking him to sleep. Wow. Just wow.







Saturday night was my hubby's X-Mas party. His boss took us to the Cowboy Dinner Tree. This place was as authentic as they come. It was 80 miles out into nowhere. We pull up and it is just this little log cabin that seriously was built like they built the houses back in Little House on the Prairie. We got served these steaks that were almost as large as my freaking head! I mean they were enormous! This place is just tiny and it is someone's house. They are ranchers and slaughter their own beef there so that is why the steaks are so big! I have been eating the leftovers from my steak alone and I am not finished with it yet! They are that big! The tables were made out of trees and the floors were barely there. It was really neat!

The place is run on generators and it was almost lopsided. The food was damn good and the couple who own the place was without a doubt fine people! They gave great service and were genuinely good service. They had the Dad and the son putting up the Christmas Tree while we were there. It was a lot of fun. It was such a long drive there that we stopped and got a bottle of wine and some beer for the drive cuz this place doesn't have a liquor license. We were quite the rowdy bunch. Oh well we had fun! After that we met up with my best friend Shannon for a drink at Timbers Bar. I can't really remember what time we got home. I was pretty lit by that time. I payed severely for my fun time yesterday. Oh well I am not so old that I can't have fun anymore!













Well, I hope ya'll had a great weekend. I know I did!

Ciao!

Posted by Stacy-Lynn :: 8:21 AM :: 9 Comments:

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